I’m changing my plans for this weekend because of some inevitable events, and now I found myself writing again in this blog. I’m thinking of a good topic when a friend suggested another entry about love and so I gave it a thought. Well, some significant events happened this week and mostly about love – anakngtinapay!
Past relationships. When I look back to those moments in the past, I always ask myself if I have made the right choices. And so far, I haven’t regret a single one because I know they were the best choices at that particular point of time.
But honestly, there a lot of what-if’s moments. From time to time, mostly moments when I am lonely, I imagine what could have been if I chose different paths. It could have been easy. I could have been happy now. I could have made myself defenseless and put down my guard and risk it all.
But I am still sane. I know myself, my happiness and sadness, my dreams and fears. Maybe those relationships wasn’t meant to last. And looking back, I never really risked it all. I never gave all my effort to make those relationships work. There is something that is lacking. There is always something that was holding me back. And I think that’s the single reason why I am still single.
Hey, I think it’s a good thing. Maybe what I felt wasn’t enough and the surge of emotion didn’t peaked. Maybe there were situations, realization or revelations that made back off slowly. Maybe love wasn’t enough.
And being honest to yourself is a great thing, because it keeps you away from lying to yourself, lying to you partner and eventually cheating her. It keeps you away to those self-shackled situations.
I value this moment that I still have a choice. That powerful choice that would carve the future of my life. And I feel blessed with it.
But it feels sad sometimes that you still have to work on to that choice, when most of your friends have found their choices.
It is hard but I’d rather not choose than to have a bad choice that I would regret the rest of my life.
I just want a happy and fulfilled life.
I look forward to that choice which I would love every single day of my life. I look forward to that moment that I am ready to risk it all for love.
Still, whatever is His plan for me, I should always remind myself that I am so much loved and blessed. :)
I pray that the Lord guide our choices always.